fucked up life.i am seriously tired of acting everyday smiling outside but bleeding inside. . . i wanna be back to my normal self but i just cant forget about her. i spent 30 mins walking home which i normaly took 10mins. nearly knocked down by a car. didnt notice the traffic light coz thinking about something saw some1 cross so i just cross and nearly get knocked down >.> sometime i really hope bai tong is in my class although is is irrating but he is really a good friend.theres no1 i can trust among my friends except bai tong he is able to keep secret.haiis wanna talk to some1 but xue yang not at home,yile dun answer my call,bai tong oral,ivan has his own problem too and clement? like he care == haiis sometime i wonder y i work so up for?y i wanna go gym at the 1st place for?who do i quit dota for?i really wonder.no1 just truely understand me. those who dunno anything pls fucked off -'-forgot to eat dinner rofl. eating now xD

A Special World:

A special world for you and me
A special bond one cannot see
It wraps us up in its cocoon
And holds us fiercely in its womb.

Its fingers spread like fine spun gold
Gently nestling us to the fold
Like silken thread it holds us fast
Bonds like this are meant to last.

And though at times a thread may break
A new one forms in its wake
To bind us closer and keep us strong
In a special world, where we belong.

An Entrapment:

My love, I have tried with all my being
to grasp a form comparable to thine own,
but nothing seems worthy;

I know now why Shakespeare could not
compare his love to a summer’s day.
It would be a crime to denounce the beauty
of such a creature as thee,
to simply cast away the precision
God had placed in forging you.

Each facet of your being
whether it physical or spiritual
is an ensnarement
from which there is no release.
But I do not wish release.
I wish to stay entrapped forever.
With you for all eternity.
Our hearts, always as one.

haD tuition today >.> dam sienx today dun even feel like studying haiis. quited dota for 1 weeks already on my comp and stare at it >< can any1 jio me out pls? xD i think i gonna go watch hairy potter on monday with jacky ._. stupid noob tong dun want go wtf wanna ask ivan but should i
? i think he sure dun want go de. trying to write some poem but i spent 2hrs thinking and nothing was typed on my microsoft word. trying not to write emo stuff as i dun want any1 to call me emo its fucking fucked up hearing that. u guys can calling me anything except emo or anything linked to her.

emo quotes of the day:

The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.

Labels: hope you are with me

chiong math xD . . . decided to force on my studies 1st instead of gaming or other things. quited dota for good. trying to forget about something.>.> sienx~ my physic and bio drop so much wtf~! need to work even harder to win yu xuan in physic and ivan in bio muahaha jiayou wilson! ^^ anyway ivan bio also drop so it might be easier to win him ? ^^ yea! ;x

emo quote of the day :

Every night i talk to the stars pretending its you.. it acts just like you tho.. far away and never replies to my questions

written another poem today coz too bored :


Go to sleep, and close your eyes,
and dream of broken butterflies
That tore their wings against a thorn.
You know the pain that they have born.
Silver metal, shine so bright.
Scarlet blood, that feels so right.
Dream of that blood trickling down,
And wake up just before you drown.
The moonlight's shining off your tears,
As you bleed out your own worst fears.
So tonight when you start to cry,
Whisper the cutter's lullaby:
Hushabye baby, you're almost dead.
You don't have a pulse and your pillow is red.
Your family hates you,
Your friends let you bleed.
Sleep tight with a knife,
cause it's all that you need.
Rockabye baby, broken and scarred.
You didn't know that life would be this hard
Time to end the pain that you hide so well,
And down will come baby,
Straight back to hell

Labels: missing you ;/

sup guys . . . feel very fucked up today coz both of my friends are arguing. im traped in the middle dunno who to help wtf. quite bad mood today but not as bad as yesterday haha.haiis so much to do for dnt not much time left. after school went to walk around causeway point with yi le haha bought a ring $12 lolx xD gonna patch my GE now ._. bye

emo quote of the day :

I cry for the time that you were almost mine, I cry for the memories I've left behind, I cry for the pain, the lost, the old the new, I cry for the times I thought I had you.

Fuck the world !!! im tired of hiding my emotion everyday . . . i admit i did love her before but it all in the past. can all of you just shut the fuck up and stop talking about her?! is love something wrong? so can all of you just fucked off?!and btw stop fucking calling me emo. wads wrong with liking emo pics and poem does that fucking make me a fucking emo?fucking bad day -'-

emo quote of the day :
Not all scars show, not all wounds heal Sometimes you can't always see The pain someone feels

haha. . . forgot to blog yesterday. anyway nth much happen yesterday, tuition till 4pm and went home to chiong math. did 4 paper1 and paper2. i such a good boii ^^ lolx actually it was the homework that ms chua gave me few month before and i didnt do it till now == haha xD. As for today, reached school and started doing my math 10 years series did 2 question and started talking with yi le and ivan ><. . . not long after peng ting come and we starting joking and everything , mocked clement as he did not came to school today again.English was ok today did some paraphasing skills work.As was chinese mr soon teaching is fucking boring ._. tried my best to stay awake for 1st period and fall asleep during the 2nd period,almost whole class is sleeping except 4 person == Had recess was joking with yi le(that wad we always do coz too boring ==) after recess its SS we were like haha time to die (coz we didnt do mdm seh work xD) and we were choosing how we want to die lolx . . . luckily we had SS test today. I think it is easy haha passable xD.History lesson ms goh didnt come. and that noob tong started talking about dota,GE,fiesta and alot more crap == den we had physic stupid ben snatch my phone and show mr see his car picture ;x sry mr see xD lolx after that went home and started blogg >.> boring life haha...

another 2 poem written by me ><

1st:

Two shots of hate from a mouth as loud as a gun,
Like an assasin ... who does it for fun.
Two deafening blows in a war that has just begun,
Life gone away...i'm done.
Two red roses sitting on my coffin, the wind blows, leaving only one
The world i know disappears...like the setting sun.

2nd:

Rain, rain, go away,
Because of you the pain will stay.
Slit my throat, cut out my heart,
Leave me here, tear it apart.

Poison tears stream down my face,
My heart beats at a steady pace
As I try to stand again;
Alone and standing in the rain.

I don’t need you anymore…
Is what I think while tears pour.
I hate you like I hate my life;
But love is what cuts like a knife.

Love is death and death is you;
Its pain stains like a black tattoo.
Those memories come back again
And bind me in the ropes of pain.

Crimson blood streams down my head
Like a long, silk ribbon, tied by a thread,
To a platinum bullet, a hole in my skull…

...Now just a memory that’s faded and dull.

Sup. . . Thanks ryan for helping me set up this blog < 3 you . Too tired today so changed my tuition to tml muahaha xD . Trying so hard to quit dota but its just seems so hard . Cant resist my myself so went to play 1 match with noob tong and guess the result? lose!!! expected that even before the start of game ;x sry noob tong no offence xD but i will say its a nice game . Haiiss i wonder why sometime its is so hard to give up on something. What must i do to make the pain go away? emo?hide in darkness? i am willing to do anything to make this pain go away. . . so please god make this pain go away. If there is really a god in this world .

Hmmm... i started to get addicted by a song called fading away by Demons Hunter. Its quite a good song that y its on my blog muahaha xD i'll provide the lyrics for you guys ^^The lyric is quite good i would say alot of meaning inside ^^

Fading Away - Demons Hunter:

Its in this wake that I find myself
Losing the will to resume this Hell
When every breath is a dying wish
Its harder to follow the point of this

This broken place that I call my home
Has deepened the sorrow that I have sown
And I cant erase what is in my heart
I want it to finish before it starts

My own solution insufficient again
No false illusion, this devouring threat
I break the vessel, giving air to its red

And open my fate to the darkened sky
(Chorus)
Ive been fading away
Ive been waiting on the call to reach my veins
Ready or not
No attention to waste
Every sorrow of the soul will read my name
When I cease to exist

So now Ive come to the final sleep
I pray that forgiveness is mine to keep
I know its hard to forget this man
Driving the failure into your hands

My own solution insufficient again
No false illusion, this devouring threat
I break the vessel, giving air to its red

And open my fate to the darkened sky

(Chorus)
Ive been fading away
Ive been waiting on the call to reach my veins
Ready or not
No attention to waste
Every sorrow of the soul will read my name
When I cease to exist

(Chorus)
Ive been fading away
Ive been waiting on the call to reach my veins
Ready or not
No attention to waste
Every sorrow of the soul will read my name
When I cease to exist

(Chorus)
Ive been fading away
Ive been waiting on the call to reach my veins
Ready or not
No attention to waste
Every sorrow of the soul will read my name
When I cease to exist

Labels: every day is a boring day